Legal Opinions

Breaking: the Office of Legal Council (OLC) has offered it's judgement that it would be perfectly legal to shoot Dick Cheney in the face. A senior aid to President Obama has ordered a marine to do so.

The marine cannot be prosecuted, since he was just following orders. The OLC cannot be prosecuted for offering "bad" legal advice. The aid to the president cannot be prosecuted as he was acting on the best legal advice available. 

Obama cannot be connected to the chain of events, due to executive privilege.

The crowd cheers.

[note to the NSA: I am in no way advocating violence against the former VP.]